A friend was visiting the other day and we were inventorying the kitchen. Not much to work with. And then my friend spied a familiar jar and said, “There’s always granola”. And there is. And now there is a song. Here are the lyrics. Song will come later.

When you’re home alone oh so blue
You know that no one could ever love you
You want wine, weed, rum and coca cola
That’s a sign you need some good granola

the rolled-oat effect – oh man it’s fun
Like having sex while watching Hamilton
go grab a utensil and it could not hurt
Though it ain’t  essential wear a tie-dyed shirt
Plethora of recipes for this concoction
Everyone says to me got no toxins
You can add honey and baby just stir it
But for my money maybe make it maple syrup
For best results use fresh ingredients
Or get it in bulk no mess, it’s expedient
At the co-op I get it just fill up my pockets
I know it’s not  ethical but I just can’t stop it

I go to the fridge when I’m  pretty depressed
Cause I always forget it’s been repossessed
But why would I bother with yogurt or milk
Little tap water – smooth as silk
If cops ate granola they would be less racist
They give up donuts (they find them tasteless)
An aggressive crunch  the effect is amazin’
But I have a hunch they would take out the raisins
Bowl of granola will cure what ails
It it was at Golgotha Christ  pulls the nails
He’d take up a spoon create a banana
Say  “It’s way too soon be singin’ Hosannah”
Let’s suppose Moses instead of commandments
Brought holy granola, local organic
Coconut sweet, the best Yahweh can make
and thou shalt not eat of the Frosted Flake
Lancelot pants a lot, kisses Guinevere
Says, “Romance demands we get out a here”
She says, “I’m still married and I’m just not able
To leave that granola legendary at that cute round table

Al Capone,  instead of bacon and eggs
Ate granola made with raisins and dates
Left the mob for good  and gave up murder
Took a walk in the woods and became a birder


So keep a good supply in your pantry and kitchen
That’s my advice but I, sadly, never listen
I like icing and butter on a cinnamon bun
I’ve discovered that it’s way more fun

Than granola!

Until July 23, when my Kickstarter ends, I am posting a song or poem every day. 

Check it out! Pass it on!




  • Love the poem. However I never eat GRANOLA.
    The commerical stuff is pretty toxic wth canola oils and lots of sugar!!

    • ha…me too. Finally broke my oatmeal addiction. I wonder if granola is my methadone.

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