The Thanksgiving Lottery
It was mid-November the farm animals gathered
For the annual Thanksgiving lottery
A day when hopes were met or shattered
Eyes, either way, would get watery
Chairperson Chicken called the meeting to order
A moment of silence to use as you wish
Most wished the moment were shorter
And to simply just get on with this
“Welcome to our ancient Autumn tradition
At random today we select a winner
Who will ascend to our sacred exalted position
And be served as Thanksgiving dinner”
“Lisa Lamb if you could please do the honors?”
And Chair Chicken raised high the hat
Lisa looked like the world weighed upon her
(some, not me, might say she looked fat)
She raised a hoof, selected a name
(there was look of relief she tried to extinguish)
Looked out on the crowd and loudly exclaimed
“Baaa!! And someone cried “Use English!”
A bit embarrassed, she spoke again
And bowed to the one deemed worthy
Who was finally about to exit the pen
“The winner is….TOM TURKEY!”
The room erupted: quack moo oink screech
Baa, cluck along with thunderous applause
Cacophonous racket meant “Speech! Speech!”
Tommy started to speak then paused….
“Bullshit! This is Bullshit!”
An audible gasp flew up from the crowd
Especially from the bovine contingent
Understandably they felt a little cowed
Chair Chicken said, “Hold on a minute!”
“You must be admonished! You are so out of line
I’m frankly astonished at your lack of rhyme!”
“You know the drill: AABB
Or ABAB, your will isn’t free
And it’s a nice touch if there is a rhyme internal
You’ve known as much from your very first kernel”
“Your outburst startled me please don’t continue
You could make things even worse God knows
We would have anarchy which would begin if you
Start speaking in blank verse if not prose!”
Tommy replied, “It should be a crime
The way you played my family for suckers
For the last time I will give your rhyme:
You are a no good mother clucker!”
“Why is it never someone other, a duck or
A pig, or a cat or a hog?
My sisters and brothers too long have suffered
Chair Chicken you are one dirty dog!”
Devon the Dog interrupted with force
“Hey, I will not stand for that!
But maybe we do need to change course
How about we kill the cat?”
Carson Cat, motionless, stared without a word
But smirked surly and slyly
Which gave clear notice which everyone heard
“Hey – just try me!”
Chair Chicken vigorously brought down the gavel
And for a moment all was calm
What now would he do with this revolting rabble
How would tradition go on?
A conspiracy! Tommy exposed it
It appears there will be no turkey roasted
That guy certainly had plenty of pluck
But most assuredly not so for luck
Plucked was he after losing his head
How could this be? Why not some other instead?
But there is precedent why this was the case
Chair Chicken President played to his base
Throughout November I am writing a poem a day in an effort to raise money for The Center for New Americans, an organization that is located in Western Massachusetts and does great work in acclimating our new citizens to their new homes.
You may help by going here.
If you appreciate my efforts and my work please share.
Also, most of you know I am moving to Oregon at the end of the year. Before I leave I will bedoing two shows. Both will be in Amherst at the NACUL Center at 7:00 on November 30 and December 7. Proceeds will benefit The Center for New Americans.
I think this poem is one of the best
Tom Turkey’s resistance was put to the test.
I remember the time I tried to rebel
And was nearly put in a cell
I chose to resist in another way
And pay my taxes to this day.
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